Tag Archives: daughters

From the Mouths of Men: Nathan Quarry, Professional Fighter

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For our second installment of “From the Mouths of Men” we hear from professional fighter, Nathan Quarry.

Nate is a UFC Veteran and was a cast member of the first season of The Ultimate Fighter. These days you might find Nate in a video of his TEDx talk or on TV as host of American Cage Fighter or. He is also plotting the zombie apocalypse through his company, Zombie Cage Fighter.

In your opinion, what makes a woman beautiful?

In my opinion for a woman to be truly beautiful she has to have the complete package. Not only beautiful on the outside, but with an inner beauty to match. I think it truly comes down to having an attitude of gratitude and following the Golden Rule. Or as simple as wanting to leave the world a better place than how you found it.

I was once asked by a girlfriend from my past what, out of everything she did for me, I appreciated the most. And she had done quite a bit for me… but my answer was, “What I appreciate the most is when I get in the truck to drive after you’ve driven it and you reach over before I get in and move my seat back for me. Because it shows you’re concerned about my comfort in such a small way. And if you’ll think about me with something so small then maybe you’ll think of me in other ways as well.”

Do you think it’s hard for men to see women as both physically strong and beautiful? Why?

I think, for a lot of men, seeing women as strong and/or beautiful has a lot to do with the individual man and for that matter, the woman. Is the man comfortable enough with himself to compliment a woman who is in better shape than he is? Does she love being athletic and strong for healthy reasons or is it her way of masking over pain from her childhood? That’s one of the big things. If you are comfortable with who you are and whatever you are.

Would you date a girl with ripped arms and a six pack? Is there a point where it’s too much?

I’m all for it. I love athletic women. I’ve dated many athletic women. To me it shows they’ve got a good work ethic, that they’re willing to wake up and go train. Their whole life isn’t just about “What makes me happy? What gives me pleasure in this moment?” They know sacrifices and they know hard work. For me that’s huge because that’s going to carry through into everything they do. If they’re able to go and train hard well then you know when times get tough they’re able to work hard and push through it.

I mean, of course, there’s always a barrier there. I’m not going to be dating any Miss Olympia competitor anytime soon. It’s not my thing, but I’m not going to judge anyone for what they want to do. I think for a lot of men it would be overly intimidating because they’re not comfortable in who they are. That’s pretty much the key to being intimidated. If you’re not confident in who you are, you’re going to be intimidated by anybody who’s better or different in whatever you do.

What percentage intelligence and what percentage beauty would your ideal woman be? (i.e. 50% each, 90% hot, etc)

That’s such a tough one because I need to have it all. I want to be physically attracted to someone and mentally attracted to someone. If one of those things isn’t there then it’s just not going to be a complete package. It’s having the Ferrari with no engine. It looks great sitting there, but you’re not going anywhere with that thing. And then it’s having the great engine with no body. It’s got to be a good mixture of both things. You have to be excited by the person you’re with. You have to be challenged and at the same time attracted to them.

Has your appreciation for beauty and/or intelligence in a woman changed as you have gotten older?

It’s so funny because as you get older you realize how peace of mind is so much more valuable. So, back in your early twenties you would see a woman who was obviously crazy, but very beautiful. You’d think, “She’s crazy, but man she’s hot, I’m going for that.” And now it’s, “Oh, she’s obviously crazy, she’s very beautiful, but no I’d rather sleep peacefully without worrying about getting shanked in the middle of the night.”

Describe your ideal woman in one sentence.

Classy, intelligent, beautiful, athletic and funny.

Sometimes being “old fashioned” can be a good thing. Are there any aspects of a woman that you prefer to be old-fashioned?

I kind of like the traditional gender roles, but at the same time I would have no problem if I was married to or dating a woman who made more money than me or was more successful than me. I wouldn’t care about that at all. I’m confident in myself enough that wouldn’t bother me.

At the same time, I’m not looking for a buddy to go hang out with and burp and fart. A woman tells me, “Oh I can drink you under the table,” and I think, why do you think that would impress me? I’m not looking for a dude to go hang out with, I’m looking or a woman who makes me want to be a better man, who I feel uncomfortable swearing around. To me I like that classy woman who you just see her and it makes you want to raise your own game so you’re a better person.

I always kind of compare it to — I would be a beer stein and a woman would be more like a fine crystal you would drink a nice glass of wine out of. And it doesn’t mean that one is better than the other, they just have a little bit different purposes.

Have you ever been intimidated by a woman?

I don’t know if intimidated is the right word, more like nervous. And that’s always been one of my greatest downfalls – when I’m really attracted to a woman my game goes out the window. I’m the guy who’s like, “Wow you got real purdy hair.” And she’s like,”I’m gonna go stand over here now.” So yeah, I’d say more than anything it’s getting nervous around a woman who is that complete package.

Have you ever been inspired by a woman?

I don’t know if my little girl counts as a woman, but she to me is my biggest inspiration and she is exactly what I’m talking about when I say having a woman in your life, and in my case a daughter, who makes you want to be a better person. She makes me want to be a better person, raise my bar, and more than anything she’s made me work so hard to give her a better life than I’ve had.

What would you do if your daughter came home as a teenager, dating a guy who was like YOU as a teenager?

The way that I was raised I didn’t start dating until I was 19 years old. So, I would feel pretty safe as a father. I want my daughter to have a better life than I’ve had and to learn from the mistakes I’ve made and I think that’s what most parents want. They want their kids to succeed and go beyond them. That’s what I really want.

I always hope she’ll find someone to love and have a family. I bought my kitchen table envisioning sitting at that table with my little girl and my grandkids around. I know it’s an inevitability. She even told me. She’s like, “Dad, I’m going to have kids someday,” and I was like, “I know, but you don’t have to tell me. You’re eleven!”

What single piece of advice would you give women when it comes to men?

One of my biggest pet peeves right now is women who just aren’t friendly – people who just aren’t nice people. I see it all the time. I don’t know if they’ve been screwed over by guys so many times, but they seem to get kind of bitter and hard. Just be nice people, be friendly.

For more of what Nate is up to, check out NathanQuarry.com and ZombieCageFighter.com.

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From the Mouths of Men: Tyler Knight, Porn Star & Novelist

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I am very excited to introduce the newest feature on ModernAthena.com – “From the Mouths of Men.” Due to my hobbies and careers, I have spent a great deal of my life mostly surrounded by men. I love men. I think they are fantastic. And, I also think they have a lot more going on in the emotions and feelings category than they are frequently given credit for. So, rather than just deal with issues of “what is beauty” and “what is it to be a woman” from the female perspective, I wanted to get some insight from the guys, as well.

First up – Tyler Knight. I’ve known Tyler for a number of years and I can safely say he’s my only friend who has his own line of sex toys. Porn star by day and novelist by night, Tyler is a modern Renaissance man. He’s won many awards for his work in the adult entertainment industry, has had his creative writing published in a variety of online literary magazines, and is a painter in his free time.

So, what does a guy like Tyler, a creative, thoughtful artist who happens to spend his days immersed in the adult film business think about women?

In your opinion, what makes a woman beautiful?

There’s the physical aspect, which is a large part of the equation. No matter how evolved I’d like to believe I am, I’m just as subject to the visual cues that nature has designed to differentiate those with the best genes in our species when selecting a suitable mate for survival of the species. Men and women who say physical beauty is irrelevant are not being truthful to its immediate visceral (or at minimum, subconscious) impact. What people find beautiful in the physical sense varies to a degree from culture to culture. But there are some baseline attributes that seem to be universal and transcend culture…waist-to-hip ratio (identifiable several yards away), symmetry, golden ratio, and so forth.

That said, physical beauty, for me, is just a starting point that may be enhanced or diminished by other factors including: empathy, common sense, outlook on life, common value and belief systems, level of intellectual curiosity, warmth, generosity and kindness.

Do you think it’s hard for men to see women as both physically strong and beautiful? Why?

Not for a real man.

Would you date a girl with ripped arms and a six pack? Is there a point where it’s too much?

Yes and yes. Based on what I personally find aesthetic, I like a degree of softness, but there’s a point where it’s unappealing. Conversely, I love fit and toned bodies, but this is subject to diminishing returns, too. This goes back to a visual cue from nature: waist-to-hip ratio. Curves are good. Tone is good. But neither in its extreme. As long as the woman is healthy.

What percentage intelligence and what percentage beauty would your ideal woman be? (i.e. 50% each, 90% hot, etc)

This is an unanswerable question. In spite of everything I’ve said above, I’ve fallen in love with and have enjoyed satisfying relationships with women encompassing all combinations of looks and intelligence. There is hard science for initial attraction, but at the end of the day, you can’t intellectualize love. Nor should you want to. That would only serve to rob us of part of the rich human experience.

Has your appreciation for beauty and/or intelligence in a woman changed as you have gotten older?

Appreciation, no. My understanding of myself has deepened and I’m evolving as I move through life, so what works for me when it comes to a satisfying relationship has evolved as well.

Describe your ideal woman in one sentence.

Kind.

Sometimes being “old fashioned” can be a good thing. Are there any aspects of a woman that you prefer to be old-fashioned?

Manners.  I don’t want another bro, I want a lady.

Have you ever been intimidated by a woman?

No. Not by a woman or a man. We’re all a handful of dust.

Have you ever been inspired by a woman?

My maternal grandmother. My mother. Rosa Parks. Alice Neel.

What would you do if your daughter came home as a teenager, dating a guy who was like YOU as a teenager?

I was a good kid. No better or worse than any other…perhaps more withdrawn and introverted.

What single piece of advice would you give women when it comes to men?

Listen to what’s not being said. We communicate differently

For more from Tyler Knight, check out his website – www.TylerKnight.com.

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