Tag Archives: gender roles

From the Mouths of Men: Stephan Bonnar, Professional Fighter

July 13, 2011   Becca   1 Comment
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For this month’s edition of From the Mouths of Men we talked with Stephan Bonnar, professional Mixed Martial Arts fighter. Stephan was one of the members of the original Ultimate Fighter cast and his fight with Forrest Griffin in the series finale helped put the UFC on the map in American households.

He’s since gone on to become a respected commentator and analyst, on top of his fighting career.

Stephan is also known for his quirky sense of humor and accordingly recently started up a clothing line, Trash Talking Kids, parodying MMA fighters.

So, what does a witty guy who punches people for a living think about the ladies?

In your opinion, what makes a woman beautiful?

Honestly, it’s mostly personality, attitude, and a nice smile.

Do you think it’s hard for men to see women as both physically strong and beautiful? Why?

No, hot chicks can be strong. Look at Gina Carano!

Would you date (or would you have dated) a girl with ripped arms and a six pack? Is there a point where it’s too much?

Yes, I have. I guess it’s too much when the face starts getting manly.

What percentage intelligence and what percentage beauty would your ideal woman be? (i.e. 50% each, 90% hot, etc)

I’d say at least 50/50, but I guess there’s a little more than intelligence and beauty. A woman can be a very intelligent and gorgeous, mean bitch. So, maybe throw some sense of humor and compassion in there with a good heart first and foremost. Then the less important stuff like intelligence and beauty, and there’s the ideal woman.

Has your appreciation for beauty and/or intelligence in a woman changed as you have gotten older?

Not really. Just being kind, loving, and personable does so much to make a woman attractive.

Describe your ideal woman in one sentence.

Look at the above answer. Kind, loving, personable, smart, good sense of humor and smile, loves animals. Usually animal lovers are warm, with good hearts.

Sometimes being “old fashioned” can be a good thing. Are there any aspects of a woman that you prefer to be old-fashioned?

I guess old fashioned women do bring good moral values to the table. I certainly don’t mind a woman being old fashioned. If a woman is down with cooking and cleaning that’s definitely a plus in my book. Honestly, if she doesn’t work and you are supporting her, then a little cooking and cleaning isn’t too much to ask, right?

Have you ever been intimidated by a woman?

Yes, all the time. Ask my wife. Intimidation is one of her specialties

Have you ever been inspired by a woman?

Yes, I’ve always been inspired by great ladies like Mother Theresa and Eleanor Roosevelt.

What would you do if your daughter came home as a teenager, dating a guy who was like YOU as a teenager?

Boy, oh boy. Young boys just have too much baby batter on their brains. It’s not their fault. I’d probably just go nuts & get committed to the rubber room

What single piece of advice would you give women when it comes to men?

I’d say to women: Go with the guy who likes you and treats you well! I swear, when you’re into a girl and let her know it, it’s a turn off. Women seem to want what they can’t have. Once you’re over her and moving on, suddenly she’s crazy about you. Screw the chase; screw mind games. Do you really want to always be longing for something that eludes you? That’s no fun. Give the nice guy who’s crazy about you a chance and let him treat you like a princess. That’s my advice.

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Learning to Cook: Donna Reed vs. the Feminists

May 25, 2011   Becca   10 Comments
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For a number of years I was under the impression that not knowing how to cook made me more of an independent woman. I had it in my head that knowing how to cook was old-fashioned and would somehow hold me back. This was somewhat similar to how I felt about make-up. Growing up I developed a rudimentary knowledge, but now that I am older I find myself wishing I knew a little bit more about lip liner and fake eyelashes. Likewise, once I achieved adulthood, for many years I felt inadequate in the kitchen.

I believe my struggle with what it is to be a modern woman and my struggle with the kitchen run parallel to each other.

My parents encouraged me to be independent and make choices free of the fact that I was female. Indeed, in my early years I was a bit oblivious to being female. Looking back, I was probably fairly androgynous growing up. I remember being asked from time to time if I was a boy. Yet, I also remember girlfriends admiring my painted nails and long hair. Prior to my teen years, however, I was careful to avoid tremendously feminine things like skirts, make-up and cooking. And while I did eventually fall in love with skirts and make-up, I still held the strange notion that cooking would “hold me back.” There was something old-fashioned and unnecessary about cooking.

But the truth is, not knowing how to cook never got me anywhere but the frozen food aisle.

I never considered myself a feminist. In fact, I did everything I could to avoid the word. I still don’t feel comfortable having it anywhere near me. In my head, feminists are angry, man-hating, short-haired, make-up-less women. Me? I like the idea of being married, having children, growing a garden and cooking dinner. I don’t want to work full-time when I have kids and I don’t want to be made to feel bad about it. And I really, really like men.

But, that’s me now. Me a few years ago couldn’t cook dinner, remember? In fact I used to brag about my inability to cook. Back then I wasn’t so sure about the whole “having kids” thing either. If I didn’t have kids, why did I need to know how to cook? Maybe I’d marry a man who was a chef.

Things turned around for me when cooking became about fitness and health and not about politics or identity. When I became an athlete and a coach, eating healthy became something necessary and I wanted it to be something enjoyable. The only way to make it enjoyable was to properly learn how to cook. I started taking classes at a local culinary school. Lo-and-behold, cooking turned out to be completely rewarding and surprisingly creative. I never knew it was a mode of self-expression and that serving a beautiful looking and tasting meal to friends could be so fulfilling.

The discovery of the enjoyment of cooking spread into other areas of my life. My already existing love for flower gardening expanded to a love for gardening herbs and vegetables. Suddenly I could picture myself cooking meals and packing lunches. Suddenly I saw myself as a little bit more capable in the potential “mom” department. Knowing how to cook would never have held me back from anything. Not knowing how to cook contributed to my inability to see myself as a complete woman, a wife, and a mom.

Now, I truly enjoy cooking. Of course, I am still trying to figure out how to work these darn fake eyelashes, but that is perhaps another article.

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  • Mod·ern [mod-ern] –adjective
    -Characteristic of present and recent time.

    A·the·na [uh-thee-nuh] –noun
    -Deity of the ancient Greeks worshiped as goddess of wisdom, fertility, the useful arts, and prudent warfare.

    Mod·ern A·the·na [mod-ern] [uh-thee-nuh] –noun
    -A Rennaissance woman. The ultimate combination of fitness, intelligence, and beauty.

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