Category Archives: Mouths of Men

From the Mouths of Men: Josh Barnett, MMA Fighter & Pro-Wrestler

September 02, 2011   Becca Borawski   1 Comment
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An accomplished mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter, Josh Barnett has been a champion in both the United States and Japan. Josh is also well known in Japanese professional wrestling and on a personal level is vocal fan of anime, manga and heavy metal.

I thought it would be interesting to talk to Josh for Mouths of Men, given that he has coaches many high level female fighters over the years.

In your opinion, what makes a woman beautiful?

For me it’s a blend of confidence, smarts, humor and sexuality topped off with that thing about them you just can’t put your finger on. I think it’s something you notice right away, as well. In terms or shear physical attributes I’d have to say I am an ass man. A nice behind is the kind of thing you either have or you don’t. Call it “the foundation.” Ha. Overall, though, I am an unabashed connoisseur of the female form.

Do you think it’s hard for men to see women as both physically strong and beautiful? Why?

It is and I know it is by conversations I have had with other men about dating strong women, especially physically. I won’t play dime-store psychology here and attribute it to some psychological condition having to “Viss your muzzah,” but I’ll say that to many men a woman of high physicality and hardness doesn’t appeal to their ideals of what femininity is. Some go as so far as to make it an issue of their own sexuality being endangered by the aspect of what they perceive as male characteristics in a woman.

I myself have never had any issues with this and have dated many athletic women. When I mean athletic I mean ripped, lean, dead lifting 405lbs, or fighters, etc. Hardcore athletes. No matter how strong or physical these women were I never felt my masculine sexuality at risk, nor that I would be eclipsed in some way by them in terms of strength or physicality. Honestly, I find athleticism can be very attractive and let’s face it, sex is physical, too. If they can’t keep up, well, no use for that in my life. Hahaha!

Would you date (or would you have dated) a girl with ripped arms and a six pack? Is there a point where it’s too much?

Several women I have dated have had six packs for days and have almost shamed me into keeping my shirt on and arms hidden around them. LOL. I have also dated women who were heavily tattooed, pierced, black, mixed, Asian, short, tall and so on. I’ve always had a very broad and open mind to what I find appealing. I am sure for anyone there is a point when things have gone too far and I think that’s truly an issue of “Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder.”

I don’t see why anyone would want to go to extreme lengths to make themselves outlandish with such a drastic course of action, but to each their own. Anyone I date I know I wouldn’t be dating them if I didn’t find them attractive. Even still, the thing about physical beauty I have found is that no matter how gorgeous someone may be that doesn’t mean that they are sexy. Being sexy to me isn’t a physical state but an attitude and how one carries themselves. Being hot physically is one thing, but being sexy is harder to find and in my opinion more valuable and not reliant on a particular physical trait or traits.

What percentage intelligence and what percentage beauty would your ideal woman be? (i.e. 50% each, 90% hot, etc)

They need them both and I don’t see a reason why they couldn’t have both. I know I have met plenty of women that do and I wouldn’t settle for anything less. Without intelligence I wouldn’t bother to “date” someone nor would I if I didn’t find them not just attractive but sexy, hot.

Has your appreciation for beauty and/or intelligence in a woman changed as you have gotten older?

Sure but then all of our ideas about such things change with age whether someone would say it was for the better or worse. I will say I have placed much more emphasis on the intelligence portion of things as at 33 as I don’t have the want to hang around someone I can’t converse with on a similar level. I think that social expectations of relationships as one gets older play a large factor in this for most as well.

Describe your ideal woman in one sentence.

The one that makes you dream about her even while I lie next to her at night.

Sometimes being “old fashioned” can be a good thing. Are there any aspects of a woman that you prefer to be old-fashioned?

Old fashioned is really relative, but I appreciate a woman who allows a man to be a man. Men and women often don’t understand one another very well, but there are things that women should pay attention to to make sure not to take away his self-respect and respect publicly and socially. That may mean allowing him to act in a way that it may not be the way you would do things, but to allow him to do so anyways. Men and women have their characteristics and even if we don’t “get it” necessarily we still need to be allowed to be who we are.

Men need to allow women to be themselves and to be treated with respect. A man’s actions should help a woman to feel just that: like a woman. No matter how athletic she may be that doesn’t mean she wants to be treated like a man or that she has abandoned her femininity.

Have you ever been intimidated by a woman?

Women were very intimidating to me as a kid but that really had more to do with my own self esteem than a woman’s “aura”. I couldn’t talk to them let alone ask one out or make a move on a girl. Those were dark days for dating. Haha! Reading ton’s of comics and playing Dungeons & Dragons I am sure didn’t help.

Women can still make me feel clumsy, nervous or even speechless but intimidated isn’t one of them. Now if they were pointing a Gatling gun at me I might pee myself just a little.

Have you ever been inspired by a woman?

Absolutely. From my fighters I’ve trained to other athletes, writers, artists. Inspiration doesn’t know gender.

What would you do if your daughter came home as a teenager, dating a guy who was like YOU as a teenager?

HA! If I had a teenage daughter she’d never come home with a guy like me because he’d be too scared to talk to her!

What single piece of advice would you give women when it comes to men?

Above all, be true to yourself and what you believe and you’ll likely never steer yourself too wrong. People think of you what you think of yourself.

For more on Josh, visit his website at www.joshbarnett.tv.

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From the Mouths of Men: Stephan Bonnar, Professional Fighter

July 13, 2011   Becca Borawski   1 Comment
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For this month’s edition of From the Mouths of Men we talked with Stephan Bonnar, professional Mixed Martial Arts fighter. Stephan was one of the members of the original Ultimate Fighter cast and his fight with Forrest Griffin in the series finale helped put the UFC on the map in American households.

He’s since gone on to become a respected commentator and analyst, on top of his fighting career.

Stephan is also known for his quirky sense of humor and accordingly recently started up a clothing line, Trash Talking Kids, parodying MMA fighters.

So, what does a witty guy who punches people for a living think about the ladies?

In your opinion, what makes a woman beautiful?

Honestly, it’s mostly personality, attitude, and a nice smile.

Do you think it’s hard for men to see women as both physically strong and beautiful? Why?

No, hot chicks can be strong. Look at Gina Carano!

Would you date (or would you have dated) a girl with ripped arms and a six pack? Is there a point where it’s too much?

Yes, I have. I guess it’s too much when the face starts getting manly.

What percentage intelligence and what percentage beauty would your ideal woman be? (i.e. 50% each, 90% hot, etc)

I’d say at least 50/50, but I guess there’s a little more than intelligence and beauty. A woman can be a very intelligent and gorgeous, mean bitch. So, maybe throw some sense of humor and compassion in there with a good heart first and foremost. Then the less important stuff like intelligence and beauty, and there’s the ideal woman.

Has your appreciation for beauty and/or intelligence in a woman changed as you have gotten older?

Not really. Just being kind, loving, and personable does so much to make a woman attractive.

Describe your ideal woman in one sentence.

Look at the above answer. Kind, loving, personable, smart, good sense of humor and smile, loves animals. Usually animal lovers are warm, with good hearts.

Sometimes being “old fashioned” can be a good thing. Are there any aspects of a woman that you prefer to be old-fashioned?

I guess old fashioned women do bring good moral values to the table. I certainly don’t mind a woman being old fashioned. If a woman is down with cooking and cleaning that’s definitely a plus in my book. Honestly, if she doesn’t work and you are supporting her, then a little cooking and cleaning isn’t too much to ask, right?

Have you ever been intimidated by a woman?

Yes, all the time. Ask my wife. Intimidation is one of her specialties

Have you ever been inspired by a woman?

Yes, I’ve always been inspired by great ladies like Mother Theresa and Eleanor Roosevelt.

What would you do if your daughter came home as a teenager, dating a guy who was like YOU as a teenager?

Boy, oh boy. Young boys just have too much baby batter on their brains. It’s not their fault. I’d probably just go nuts & get committed to the rubber room

What single piece of advice would you give women when it comes to men?

I’d say to women: Go with the guy who likes you and treats you well! I swear, when you’re into a girl and let her know it, it’s a turn off. Women seem to want what they can’t have. Once you’re over her and moving on, suddenly she’s crazy about you. Screw the chase; screw mind games. Do you really want to always be longing for something that eludes you? That’s no fun. Give the nice guy who’s crazy about you a chance and let him treat you like a princess. That’s my advice.

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From the Mouths of Men: Nathan Quarry, Professional Fighter

June 15, 2011   Becca Borawski   8 Comments
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For our second installment of “From the Mouths of Men” we hear from professional fighter, Nathan Quarry.

Nate is a UFC Veteran and was a cast member of the first season of The Ultimate Fighter. These days you might find Nate in a video of his TEDx talk or on TV as host of American Cage Fighter or. He is also plotting the zombie apocalypse through his company, Zombie Cage Fighter.

In your opinion, what makes a woman beautiful?

In my opinion for a woman to be truly beautiful she has to have the complete package. Not only beautiful on the outside, but with an inner beauty to match. I think it truly comes down to having an attitude of gratitude and following the Golden Rule. Or as simple as wanting to leave the world a better place than how you found it.

I was once asked by a girlfriend from my past what, out of everything she did for me, I appreciated the most. And she had done quite a bit for me… but my answer was, “What I appreciate the most is when I get in the truck to drive after you’ve driven it and you reach over before I get in and move my seat back for me. Because it shows you’re concerned about my comfort in such a small way. And if you’ll think about me with something so small then maybe you’ll think of me in other ways as well.”

Do you think it’s hard for men to see women as both physically strong and beautiful? Why?

I think, for a lot of men, seeing women as strong and/or beautiful has a lot to do with the individual man and for that matter, the woman. Is the man comfortable enough with himself to compliment a woman who is in better shape than he is? Does she love being athletic and strong for healthy reasons or is it her way of masking over pain from her childhood? That’s one of the big things. If you are comfortable with who you are and whatever you are.

Would you date a girl with ripped arms and a six pack? Is there a point where it’s too much?

I’m all for it. I love athletic women. I’ve dated many athletic women. To me it shows they’ve got a good work ethic, that they’re willing to wake up and go train. Their whole life isn’t just about “What makes me happy? What gives me pleasure in this moment?” They know sacrifices and they know hard work. For me that’s huge because that’s going to carry through into everything they do. If they’re able to go and train hard well then you know when times get tough they’re able to work hard and push through it.

I mean, of course, there’s always a barrier there. I’m not going to be dating any Miss Olympia competitor anytime soon. It’s not my thing, but I’m not going to judge anyone for what they want to do. I think for a lot of men it would be overly intimidating because they’re not comfortable in who they are. That’s pretty much the key to being intimidated. If you’re not confident in who you are, you’re going to be intimidated by anybody who’s better or different in whatever you do.

What percentage intelligence and what percentage beauty would your ideal woman be? (i.e. 50% each, 90% hot, etc)

That’s such a tough one because I need to have it all. I want to be physically attracted to someone and mentally attracted to someone. If one of those things isn’t there then it’s just not going to be a complete package. It’s having the Ferrari with no engine. It looks great sitting there, but you’re not going anywhere with that thing. And then it’s having the great engine with no body. It’s got to be a good mixture of both things. You have to be excited by the person you’re with. You have to be challenged and at the same time attracted to them.

Has your appreciation for beauty and/or intelligence in a woman changed as you have gotten older?

It’s so funny because as you get older you realize how peace of mind is so much more valuable. So, back in your early twenties you would see a woman who was obviously crazy, but very beautiful. You’d think, “She’s crazy, but man she’s hot, I’m going for that.” And now it’s, “Oh, she’s obviously crazy, she’s very beautiful, but no I’d rather sleep peacefully without worrying about getting shanked in the middle of the night.”

Describe your ideal woman in one sentence.

Classy, intelligent, beautiful, athletic and funny.

Sometimes being “old fashioned” can be a good thing. Are there any aspects of a woman that you prefer to be old-fashioned?

I kind of like the traditional gender roles, but at the same time I would have no problem if I was married to or dating a woman who made more money than me or was more successful than me. I wouldn’t care about that at all. I’m confident in myself enough that wouldn’t bother me.

At the same time, I’m not looking for a buddy to go hang out with and burp and fart. A woman tells me, “Oh I can drink you under the table,” and I think, why do you think that would impress me? I’m not looking for a dude to go hang out with, I’m looking or a woman who makes me want to be a better man, who I feel uncomfortable swearing around. To me I like that classy woman who you just see her and it makes you want to raise your own game so you’re a better person.

I always kind of compare it to — I would be a beer stein and a woman would be more like a fine crystal you would drink a nice glass of wine out of. And it doesn’t mean that one is better than the other, they just have a little bit different purposes.

Have you ever been intimidated by a woman?

I don’t know if intimidated is the right word, more like nervous. And that’s always been one of my greatest downfalls – when I’m really attracted to a woman my game goes out the window. I’m the guy who’s like, “Wow you got real purdy hair.” And she’s like,”I’m gonna go stand over here now.” So yeah, I’d say more than anything it’s getting nervous around a woman who is that complete package.

Have you ever been inspired by a woman?

I don’t know if my little girl counts as a woman, but she to me is my biggest inspiration and she is exactly what I’m talking about when I say having a woman in your life, and in my case a daughter, who makes you want to be a better person. She makes me want to be a better person, raise my bar, and more than anything she’s made me work so hard to give her a better life than I’ve had.

What would you do if your daughter came home as a teenager, dating a guy who was like YOU as a teenager?

The way that I was raised I didn’t start dating until I was 19 years old. So, I would feel pretty safe as a father. I want my daughter to have a better life than I’ve had and to learn from the mistakes I’ve made and I think that’s what most parents want. They want their kids to succeed and go beyond them. That’s what I really want.

I always hope she’ll find someone to love and have a family. I bought my kitchen table envisioning sitting at that table with my little girl and my grandkids around. I know it’s an inevitability. She even told me. She’s like, “Dad, I’m going to have kids someday,” and I was like, “I know, but you don’t have to tell me. You’re eleven!”

What single piece of advice would you give women when it comes to men?

One of my biggest pet peeves right now is women who just aren’t friendly – people who just aren’t nice people. I see it all the time. I don’t know if they’ve been screwed over by guys so many times, but they seem to get kind of bitter and hard. Just be nice people, be friendly.

For more of what Nate is up to, check out NathanQuarry.com and ZombieCageFighter.com.

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From the Mouths of Men: Tyler Knight, Porn Star & Novelist

May 23, 2011   Becca Borawski   No comments
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I am very excited to introduce the newest feature on ModernAthena.com – “From the Mouths of Men.” Due to my hobbies and careers, I have spent a great deal of my life mostly surrounded by men. I love men. I think they are fantastic. And, I also think they have a lot more going on in the emotions and feelings category than they are frequently given credit for. So, rather than just deal with issues of “what is beauty” and “what is it to be a woman” from the female perspective, I wanted to get some insight from the guys, as well.

First up – Tyler Knight. I’ve known Tyler for a number of years and I can safely say he’s my only friend who has his own line of sex toys. Porn star by day and novelist by night, Tyler is a modern Renaissance man. He’s won many awards for his work in the adult entertainment industry, has had his creative writing published in a variety of online literary magazines, and is a painter in his free time.

So, what does a guy like Tyler, a creative, thoughtful artist who happens to spend his days immersed in the adult film business think about women?

In your opinion, what makes a woman beautiful?

There’s the physical aspect, which is a large part of the equation. No matter how evolved I’d like to believe I am, I’m just as subject to the visual cues that nature has designed to differentiate those with the best genes in our species when selecting a suitable mate for survival of the species. Men and women who say physical beauty is irrelevant are not being truthful to its immediate visceral (or at minimum, subconscious) impact. What people find beautiful in the physical sense varies to a degree from culture to culture. But there are some baseline attributes that seem to be universal and transcend culture…waist-to-hip ratio (identifiable several yards away), symmetry, golden ratio, and so forth.

That said, physical beauty, for me, is just a starting point that may be enhanced or diminished by other factors including: empathy, common sense, outlook on life, common value and belief systems, level of intellectual curiosity, warmth, generosity and kindness.

Do you think it’s hard for men to see women as both physically strong and beautiful? Why?

Not for a real man.

Would you date a girl with ripped arms and a six pack? Is there a point where it’s too much?

Yes and yes. Based on what I personally find aesthetic, I like a degree of softness, but there’s a point where it’s unappealing. Conversely, I love fit and toned bodies, but this is subject to diminishing returns, too. This goes back to a visual cue from nature: waist-to-hip ratio. Curves are good. Tone is good. But neither in its extreme. As long as the woman is healthy.

What percentage intelligence and what percentage beauty would your ideal woman be? (i.e. 50% each, 90% hot, etc)

This is an unanswerable question. In spite of everything I’ve said above, I’ve fallen in love with and have enjoyed satisfying relationships with women encompassing all combinations of looks and intelligence. There is hard science for initial attraction, but at the end of the day, you can’t intellectualize love. Nor should you want to. That would only serve to rob us of part of the rich human experience.

Has your appreciation for beauty and/or intelligence in a woman changed as you have gotten older?

Appreciation, no. My understanding of myself has deepened and I’m evolving as I move through life, so what works for me when it comes to a satisfying relationship has evolved as well.

Describe your ideal woman in one sentence.

Kind.

Sometimes being “old fashioned” can be a good thing. Are there any aspects of a woman that you prefer to be old-fashioned?

Manners.  I don’t want another bro, I want a lady.

Have you ever been intimidated by a woman?

No. Not by a woman or a man. We’re all a handful of dust.

Have you ever been inspired by a woman?

My maternal grandmother. My mother. Rosa Parks. Alice Neel.

What would you do if your daughter came home as a teenager, dating a guy who was like YOU as a teenager?

I was a good kid. No better or worse than any other…perhaps more withdrawn and introverted.

What single piece of advice would you give women when it comes to men?

Listen to what’s not being said. We communicate differently

For more from Tyler Knight, check out his website – www.TylerKnight.com.

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  • Mod·ern [mod-ern] –adjective
    -Characteristic of present and recent time.

    A·the·na [uh-thee-nuh] –noun
    -Deity of the ancient Greeks worshiped as goddess of wisdom, fertility, the useful arts, and prudent warfare.

    Mod·ern A·the·na [mod-ern] [uh-thee-nuh] –noun
    -A Rennaissance woman. The ultimate combination of fitness, intelligence, and beauty.

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